Is it Truly Vanity if You Need Reassurance?
by MegMarch1880
Summary: Anne knows she has no right to complain about who Gilbert spends her time with. But does he have to spend his time around Christine Stuart?


**A/N: I do not own Anne or the Anne of Green Gables series. I do however own the story concept. Some thoughts on what Anne might have thought about Gilbert after seeing him escort Christine around. I am not saying that you need to be dating to be fulfilled or so to feel that you are wanted in this story. I am merely trying to illustrate Anne's thoughts during that time.**

"Vanity, thy name is Anne," she muttered bitterly to herself. She knew that she had no right to complain about who Gilbert spent time with. She had lost that privilege a long time ago with her words at his proposal which she knew had been aimed to hurt. She had been hurt by his trying to change the relationship and had retaliated. The thing was that her words had been less thought through and more aimed to cause pain. She had not said anything that anyone would immediately recognize as particularly cruel but her words had been aimed at his weak spots. She supposed the only reason he was willing to even still acknowledge her in public was the fact that she had in fact restrained herself from the worst of it. She could have been truly cruel and wicked with how well she had known Gilbert and both he and she knew she could of.

Even with doing that though, she could not seem but to help feel upset about the fact of Gilbert's start of his courtship of Christine Stuart. Yes, it had been several months since he had proposed to Anne. And it was not like she wanted him unhappy, she truly did not. But could he try not to be happy without female companionship? She knew it was her vanity talking but it did not feel very nice to realize that she had been replaced and so quickly at that. It made her wonder if Gilbert had meant anything that he had said at all. She missed her friend but wondered if she should miss him if he clearly was not doing so. She did not regret turning down his proposal but still missed the friendship and competition. Yet, he did not seem to be suffering at all for her turning down his proposal. It almost seemed like he did not miss her at all. If he did not, then she definitely had done the right thing in turning down his proposal but still the fact that she had been replaced stung.

Phil had not been very helpful on the subject, she had listened to Anne rant about this and had simply said, "He made his decision and you made yours. Now you both have to live with them. You lost the right to worry about what he thinks and his thoughts when you turned him down."

Anne knew that Phil was trying to be helpful and had some valid points but it was not as simple as Phil made it out to be either. There was what she felt at the proposal, shock, and horror. Then, there was the fact that she was hurt that he had ended their friendship. Finally, there was the part of her that was her vanity that hurt over the fact that she was that easy to get over and forget. She had Roy now and he had even started courting her before Gilbert had started courting Christine. But her mind still disliked the fact that he was courting Christine so quickly after proposing to her. She knew it had to be her vanity that objected to the idea as she herself knew she was a bit vain. Yet her mind still seemed to argue with the notion. She sighed, thinking it round in circles in her head was not going to help a bit either. She needed to get herself made up for the party that evening. Roy had sent gorgeous flowers and she wanted to pick out which dress would compliment her and the flowers best. She shoved the thoughts into the back of her mind, she needed to decrease her focus on vanity not encourage it. The small voice in the back of her mind whispered that perhaps she still needed the reassurance that she could be loved and wanted. However, that voice was quickly muted in favor of thinking of the Dickinson assignment coming up and the decision of what dress to wear.


End file.
